"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place."
> > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
> > WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
> >
_________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
> said to you that
> > morning?
> > WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
> > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> > WITNESS: My name is Susan!
> >
>_________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
> been involved in
> > voodoo?
> > WITNESS: We both do.
> > ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> > WITNESS: We do.
> > ATTORNEY: You do?
> > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> >
>
__________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
> person dies in his
> > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
> morning?
> > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> >
>
__________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the
> baby) was August 8th?
> > WITNESS: Yes.
> > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> > WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
> >
>
__________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
> pursuant to a
> > deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
> > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to
> work.
> >
>
_________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
> What school did
> > you go to?
> > WITNESS: Oral.
> >
>
_________________________________________________________
> > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
> examined the body?
> > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table
> wondering why I was
> > doing an autopsy on him!
> >
>
_________________________________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
> autopsy, did you check
> > for a pulse?
> > WITNESS: No.
> > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > WITNESS: No.
> > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> > WITNESS: No.
> > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the
> patient was alive when
> > you began the autopsy?
> > WITNESS: No.
> > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
> desk in a jar.
> > ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have
> still been alive,
> > nevertheless?
> > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could
> have been alive and
> > practicing law.
2 comments:
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Wireless, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://wireless-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
adam, you better get your witty responses ready if you ever wanna make it in the biz.
and how bout it, now going international on this thing with broken-english wireless comments ;-)
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