So I've been wanting to do this post since yesterday but I didn't want to look like a weenie after Josh's awesome post. I guess I will still look like a weenie but at least I waited longer then 15 minutes after that slew of awesomeness (btw doesn't that Batman kid look like Alex in his prime?)So as some of you may know I am a NASCAR enthusiast. I don't like watching the races but I do like following the story lines. Jimmie Johnson (my favorite racer) is going for his 4th consecutive Sprint Cup title this year. This is simply unprecedented and if I was a bigger hillbilly I would be wearing #48 hat and funneling beers while writing this post.
Some of you may have heard about Jeremy Mayfield. This has been the best NASCAR storyline in recent memory. And is more entertaining than Brett Favre, that '03 steroids list and dog fighting rings combined. So I present the saga of Jeremy Mayfield in the form of a timeline.
1995-2009- Jeremy Mayfield enters the Winston Cup Series (NASCAR) in 1995. He was a disappointment much of his early career finishing low in the overall standings and winning very few top ten finishes. Mayfield bounced from team to team because of his inconsistent overall finishes. Though he did enjoy a brief period of success early this decade reaching his peak in 2005 when he finished 9th in the overall standings.
January 2009- Mayfield decides to start his own race team Mayfield Racing.
May 9th, 2009- NASCAR announces that Mayfield has failed a random drug test but does not reveal what he tested positive for. Mayfield responds with this statement "In my case, I believe that the combination of a prescribed medicine and an over the counter medicine reacted together and resulted in a positive drug test". These two drugs being Claritan D and Adderal. Mayfield is suspended indefinitely as both a racer and an owner.
May29th, 2009- Mayfield is sticking by his story despite NASCAR's resident doctor repeatedly disputing Mayfield's claim. Mayfield decides to ask a federal judge to rescind NASCAR's suspension.
June 3rd, 2009- NASCAR reveals that Mayfield tested positive for an illegal drug with side effects that include paranoia, aggressive behavior and psychosis. Also stating that Mayfield was in wrecks in 3 of the 5 races he was in during the 2009 season.
June 9th, 2009- ESPN reports that anonymous source has revealed that May field tested positive for methamphetamine; ice, glass, crystal etc. Mayfield responds "I have never taken methamphetamines in my life, and when accused of taking them I immediately volunteered to give another sample."
June 16th, 2009- It is revealed that Mayfields expert witness Dr. Harvey MacFenerstein lied about his credentials and does not have the medical degrees or certifications he listed. Here's a look at MacFenerstein's true medical history: Medical Degree in 1982 from Universidad Centro de Estudios Tecnologicos, more commonly called Universidad C.E.T.E.C. in the Dominican Republic. He studied there from 1980 to 1982 after transferring from Universidad Del Noreste in Tampico, Tamaulipas, Mexico, where he studied from 1978 to 1980. Ha! Mexican medical school!
July 1st, 2009-
The judge agrees wit Mayfield's lawyer that only a habitual meth user would produce an accurate result and he is thus cleared to race again. Meanwhile Mayfield's stepmother signs an affidavit saying she saw Mayfield do meth about 30 times over the past 7 years. Mayfield's stepmother also stated that Mayfield cooked up his own meth until the ingredients became too hard to find. She then files a defamation lawsuit against Mayfield because he said things like this "She's basically a whore. She shot and killed my dad."
July 16th, 2009- Mayfield tests Positive for meth a second time. Mayfield continues to deny this saying "I didn't think they were going to come back and say I was clean, they have a hard time admitting when they're wrong." Mayfield and his lawyer claim that NASCAR is setting Mayfield up. They also claim to have results from an independent lab where Mayfield tested negative.
July 26th, 2009- Mayfield sells 6 race cars, his parts and his hauler presumably to buy more meth.
The judge agrees wit Mayfield's lawyer that only a habitual meth user would produce an accurate result and he is thus cleared to race again. Meanwhile Mayfield's stepmother signs an affidavit saying she saw Mayfield do meth about 30 times over the past 7 years. Mayfield's stepmother also stated that Mayfield cooked up his own meth until the ingredients became too hard to find. She then files a defamation lawsuit against Mayfield because he said things like this "She's basically a whore. She shot and killed my dad."
July 16th, 2009- Mayfield tests Positive for meth a second time. Mayfield continues to deny this saying "I didn't think they were going to come back and say I was clean, they have a hard time admitting when they're wrong." Mayfield and his lawyer claim that NASCAR is setting Mayfield up. They also claim to have results from an independent lab where Mayfield tested negative.
July 26th, 2009- Mayfield sells 6 race cars, his parts and his hauler presumably to buy more meth.
August 16th, 2009- Mayfield's stepmother is arrested at Mayield's house. She is apparently both high and drunk. She is charged with trespassing and public intoxication. To be continued...
This is a saga if I have ever seen one. I just did about 3 hours of research to write this boringly long post and I hope at least one person made it to the end. Klatt, I expect your notes.
This is a saga if I have ever seen one. I just did about 3 hours of research to write this boringly long post and I hope at least one person made it to the end. Klatt, I expect your notes.
So long Mr. Mayfield...
4 comments:
Definitely looked like Alex.
So what can we learn from Mr. Mayfield? I think the real lesson here is that if you've got 6 cars and you love yourself some meth, get rid of your cars and buy yourself some of that meth before someone catches onto you. Now Mayfield's got no cars and a whole lot of PO-lice, paparazzi, and rabid NASCAR freaks chasin' his ass.
Talk about your crash and burn.
Just as the economy tanks, Mayfield cranks up the antics.
But this is America, you'll remember, and we forgive people here. Mayfield just needs a timeout. Last time I checked (never), Mayfield didn't kill anyone in any of those three wrecks.
To me, this former top ten finisher has set himself up for one helluva comeback. I look forward to the next chapter.
I don't want to cover up this great post, but feel free to lend your support to this Seattle band: http://www.myspace.com/natalieportmansshavedhead
Best name ever, right Bobby? (a dude who's really into chicks with shaved heads)
good call on f.a. hags
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